30th April 1945 the Suicide of Adolf Hitler

Adolf Hitler

Today we celebrate with arms outstretched in utterly ecstatic glee the bizarre Berlin suicide 73 years ago of that Cosmic Herostratus, World Garbage Mouth and Nihilistic Ruiner of All Things Adolf Hitler, who took his own life with poison even as Soviet commandos surrounded his concrete bunker. In barely two decades, this monstrous little solipsist had – from the very furthest fringes of the German Empire – waltzed via many circuitous and highly dubious not to mention unlawful routes into World Politics, only to pop a pill into the afterlife when it all got too hot for him.

Greeted as a religious figure by a post-Versailles Treaty German population in a somewhat justifiably gigantic and collective downer, Adolf Hitler’s movie star fringe, open top Mercedes and hunky leathered-up bovver boys gave the Nazis – in the chaos of inflation-crazy jobless Germany – a massive sartorial style hoist above their strictly functional Communist opposition. But only an idiot savant would, during the mid-1920s, have predicted that this monomaniacal army-endorsed beerhall agitator could have carved any real place in the historical future of Germany. Because of his uncanny rise to power, deployment of the swastika and incredible propaganda movies, many have tried to explain in near occult terms how Hitler captured the mind of average Germans. But in truth he did no such thing. Instead, Adolf Hitler was courted, groomed and guided into power by all manner of rich Germans, high society misfits and – most significantly – through gross failings in the System. Indeed, Adolf Hitler’s 1933 election as Germany’s Chancellor was achieved only through the greatest failure of Germany’s Democratic System. Only when he was safely (and lawfully) in power, did Hitler unleash the real might of the Nazi propaganda machine upon the German public. And although we often marvel today that the Allies successfully brought Hitler’s projected 1000-year Reich to its knees after just twelve years, we must nevertheless wonder just how up its own collective ass German Democracy must have been in order to get such a slab of Primal Upchuck elected in the first place. Even in death, however, Hitler still assumed a genuinely religious significance to his fanatical supporters, who spirited away his corpse even as the Soviets pounded at his door.

[Written by Julian Cope]

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6 Responses to 30th April 1945 – the Suicide of Adolf Hitler

  1. Aidan Cross says:

    Disturbingly enough, the evidence that he actually staged his suicide and fled to Argentina does seem to be mounting up, especially in light of recent forensic examinations on his ‘remains’:


  2. Marianne Hancock says:

    I sincerely hope this evil bastard did not survive! Having checked the link, it looks highly unlikely.

    Neither the Daily Express nor Twenty-first Century Wire are reliable sources. One is just a site for conspiracy theories. The other peddles a pathetic conspiracy theory about Diana.

    No-one would say the Kremlin was a water tight source either, but the alleged picture of Hitler in old age hugging a non-Aryan woman which is sometimes put around is really poor and unconvincing.

    Today, a friend told me about a programme with a title like ‘The Hitler Archives’ which features interviews with Dr Morel who was with dear little Adolf in the bunker.

    I’m about to search for it online. I hope it will provide reliable evidence that this excuse for a human being did check out in ’45.

  3. Marianne Hancock says:

    I ‘ve found the programme. It’s called ‘Hitler’s Secret Drug Habit.’ It’s not very feasible that, even had he escaped the bunker, he could have lived until 1962 as some claim.

    Latterly, he was poisoning himself with enough quack medication to kill an elephant. He also had advanced Parkinson’s Disease. I wouldn’t lose any sleep about his escaping. It’s obvious that he had lost touch with reality by the end of April 1945, and couldn’t plan ahead.

  4. Hitler says:

    Je suis encore vivant !!!!!

  5. Es ist gut das Adolf Hitler sich getötet hat .
    1945 hatte er sich umgebrach und das ist auch gut so .
    Ich lebe in Siebeneichen und das
    Dorf ist ein cooles Dorf .

    Alles liebe
    David Antkowiak

  6. Andrew P. says:

    With the evidence that I have seen, and the theories I have heard, I strongly believe that Adolf Hitler did not commit suicide. Or at least where we think. I believe he survived, but as to where he went I do not know. As far as I know he died a few years after WW2.

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